2003-07-09 - 9:05 a.m.
Found this in an odd corner of the Internet. This is supposedly written by Leonardo da Vinci, although it may simply be apocryphal.
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On indecorous behavior at my lord's table
These are indecorous habits that a guest at my lord's table should not cultivate (and I base this story on my observations of those that frequented my lord's table in the past year):
No guest should sit on the table, nor with his back to the table, nor on the lap of any other guest.
Nor should he put his leg on the table.
Nor should he sit under the table at any time.
He should not put his head over the plate to eat.
He should not take food from his neighbor's plate without first asking permission.
He should not put pieces of food that are of disagreeable aspect or half-chewed on his neighbor's plate without first asking his permission.
He should not wipe his knife on his neighbor's clothes.
Nor should he use his knife to draw pictures on the table.
He should not clean his armor at the table.
He should not take food from the table and put it in his pouch or handbag to be eaten later.
He should not take a bite of fruit from the fruit bowl and then return the bitten fruit to the bowl.
He should not spit to his front.
Nor to his side.
He should not pinch or strike his table companion.
He should not make grunting noises nor will elbowing be permitted.
He should not show the whites of his eyes nor make horrible faces.
He should not put a finger in his nose or his ear while making conversation.
He should not make models, nor light fires, nor practice tying knots at the table (unless my lord has asked him to.)
He should not let his birds loose on the table.
Nor serpents or beetles.
He should not play the lute or any other instrument that may prove bothersome to his table companions (unless my lord has asked him to do so).
He should not sing, nor tell stories, nor shout insults, nor make obscene suggestions if he is seated next to a lady.
He should not conspire at the table (unless he is doing it with my lord).
He should not make impudent suggestions to my lord's pages nor play with their bodies.
He should not set his table companion on fire while they are seated at the table.
He should not strike the servants (unless it is in self defense).
And if he must vomit, he should leave the table.
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Like to give Emily Post fits, isn't it?
